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  • Writer's pictureJulie McCammon

Confidence

noun

~The feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on something or someone.

~The state of feeling certain about the truth of something

~A feeling of self-assurance arising from an appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.


I spend so much time and energy wanting to be liked, to be enough, thinking that if only I am liked and enough then I will be confident. I’ve innocently been believing something outside of me can give me a feeling of confidence, so it's been an uphill struggle on a very slippery slope. My unhelpful interpretations of my thinking, have fixed my reality of having no confidence. In other words, I have created my reality with my thoughts.


Every time I have an insecure thought, I not only believe it but I use it to build a story that further confirms my insecurities with more insecure thinking. Especially when I compare myself to others who appear to be confident, I slip even deeper into critical thinking about my apparent lack of confidence.


On this retreat, I’ve come to see that I don't have to react to a thought. A thought in itself is neutral. Thoughts can be ignored, not acted on. It's only when you put life into it that it becomes life.

Thought is a Divine gift that guides us through life, if it produces a not-so-nice feeling in our body, that's a sign that we are going off track with our thinking. Each time I choose to believe the thought that I have no confidence, it creates a tightening/tension in my body, a heaviness on my chest and a nervousness in my belly. Each one of these feelings or sensations is a signal telling me not to indulge the thought that created the feeling and instead just let it go.


What if CONFIDENCE is already inside me, it’s just my thoughts that are keeping me from finding it.


I ask myself “How long will I hold on to the story that I have no self-confidence?”

I can now see I’ve been listening to my thoughts about not being confident and I’ve formed a definite opinion which has resulted in how I experience life.

If I think I’ve no confidence and believe it to be true then I will see what I am looking for, I will see lots of examples in my life that prove I lack confidence.

Such thoughts will affect my behaviour and the vicious circle will keep repeating itself, causing me to shut down and lose out on the possibility to create something new.


I realise now how many opportunities I’ve wasted by avoiding situations where I might look bad or feel uncomfortable, but I now see the cost - suffocating my creativity and self-expression. Causing me to lose out on feeling fully alive.


It’s time to see that confidence comes from me. It's there for the taking and it’s free.


No more hiding myself.

No more needing ‘something’

In order to live my life in freedom

I don’t need to wait for a certain feeling to do what I want in life

If I wait for the feeling of confidence, I will do nothing!

No more waiting.


I choose to go with the flow of life

And be open to all the feelings that come.


I pledge to stop hiding and stand tall.

To feel the earth beneath my feet,

Supporting me on my journey.


To plant myself and allow ‘Me’ to begin to grow

To stop resisting the flow of life

Allow my roots to unwind and enjoy

This life I’ve been given.


To stop resisting life and let go.

To grow into something beautiful and

To trust in miracles.




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